Wednesday, August 23, 2006
I got this from a friend of mine...hope u like this as much as i did..

here goes...

Dear GOD:

I want to thank You for what you have already
done. I am not going to wait until I see results or
receive rewards;

I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait
until I feel better or things look better;

I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait
until people say they are sorry or until they stop
talking about me;

I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait
until the pain in my body disappears ;

I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait
until my financial situation improves;

I am going to thank you right now. I am not going
to wait until the children are asleep and the house
is quiet;

I am going to thank you right now. I am not going
to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the

I am going to thank you right now. I am not going
to wait until I understand every experience in my
life that has caused me pain or grief;

I am thanking you right now. I am not going to
wait until the journey gets easier or the challenges
are removed;

I am thanking you right now. I am thanking you
because I am alive. I am thanking you because I
made it through the day's difficulties. I am thanking
you because I have walked around the obstacles.

I am thanking you because I have the ability and
the opportunity to do more
and do better.

I'm thanking you because FATHER, YOU haven't
given up on me.

>>> it was nice reading through sums up everything i want to say, and feel. How bout U?

hope this made u smile!

Monday, August 14, 2006
random thots from the deepest recesses of my twisted mind... :)

for You...

I feel happy to know that you feel the same as I do. I feel happy, looking forward to each day with you. I feel so happy to have your love because what we share is so special, so very right for us. I can feel the caring in the caress of your eyes, the understanding of your smile, and the touch of your hand. It is so wonderful how your hand fits beautifully into mine or how cozily I feel into your arms. I want to hold your hands and never let go. I want to stay into your arms for as long as I want coz I feel so safe in it. I feel the air between us, sometimes exciting, sometimes quiet and sometimes intimate.

Our love is still new but it feels like I’ve been loving you forever...

Drama na naman...

being in love gives a feeling so oh difficult to explain. But whatever it is, it surely feels good. But love is not always about roses and chocolates or sweet lovely music, love can go awfully wrong too...

Being 18 years old is a difficult age in life to decide the border between adult and child, and that's why teens my age usually make the wrong decisions when it comes to lots of things..especially when it comes to love. It isn't our fault that we're born in this age where "love" becomes an overly used word that it slowly loses its real meaning. And it isn't our fault that people these days associate love with sex or lust. Love is much more deeper than that i believe..and as most of you would...But i'm not saying that we teens are the ones that only encounter these kinds of problems, adults too tend to forget to act their age and lose them selves by getting carried away with emotions they mistake as LOVE...

have you fallen "in love"?

this is one of the questions that i really love answering wether it be surveys or real lifeconfrontations. hehe! Love is a topic everyone can relate to! It's been discussed here, there and everywhere. Under the sun or beneath the pale moonlight. Young or old, gay or straight, normal and er...the somewhat "not-so-normal", each of us have our own love story to tell! It would be such a lie to say that we have never been in love, or at least have had a close brush with cupid and his arrows. Love is something that most of us have experienced and yet, it still remains one of
the most wonderful mysteries that yet remains unsolved.

do you fall in love fast?, this is an interesting question. How fast do you fall in love? do you fall in love at first glance or first sight?
Do you fall within a matter of days, weeks or hours?I can never say that such things don't happen for i've heard of stories of people falling in love at first
sight. But i believe, it is not really love at first sight...maybe physical attraction since most of us consider looks important (don't deny people..).
Do i fall in love fast? Let's just say, that those whom i've fallen in love fast were not the right persons or maybe i wasn't the right one..or who knows?
maybe it just wasn't meant to be . Those feelings were just raging hormones that i mistook for "love". haha! i've read a book that girls tend to be "boy-crazy"
during their teenage years because of "raging Hormones". But as I grew up, I realize
that it's just not a matter of black and white anymore when it comes to many many things, especially in love. As we grow older, our notion of love becomes much deeper.
Before it used to be feeling this "spark" and the fireworks, and how intense and overwhelming the feeling of love was. It used to be that when the feeling was intense, then it was Love. I can't exactly remember how many times i've led myself to believe that i was in-love because the feeling was really great. And then, comes reality snapping right before your very eyes saying it was all just a lovely illusion. plain infatuation. period.

But if i've had my share of falling in-loves, i've had my fair share of heartbreaks too. Growing up, i've met a lot of guys who made my heart swoon. BUt i've had my heart broken too. countless of times..cried for it..haha! yes! i've been its time to move on.

When i was younger, it used to be that if my boyfriend did something that would turn me off, it's goodbye for good. Or if he becomes too annoying or possesive, then he can pack up his bags and go. Fickle. That's how i used to be, and i set my standards way too high. Yes, i was hard to please..and maybe still am (but i'm thankful that my bebe can still put up with my craziness..haha!). And so, my relationships usually last 2 months as the longest and a month as the shortest..There were times that i'd count the days before i'd decide to break up with my boyfriend though. LIke this one time when i was so fed up with my then boyfriend who was becoming too annoying lately. So i decided that i'd make the relationship last a month..haha! so that at least my peers would say that i don't go on hopping from one relationship to another in just a matter of days.

But now, it's not easy anymore. After you've been in a relationship for awhile, at some point in time, you and your partner would have committed everything and a lot more. You start to plan your future together, you build your dreams. You compromise, you learn to live with each other's imperfections, hang-ups or attitudes. Problems become more difficult to resolve because it's not anymore a matter of who is wrong and who is right. It's a matter of what you are willing to accept and willing to give. And in's always a give and give thing. noh? But why do we go on loving despite everything? The pain, the hurt, the hassles? ..I don't know..i guess i've still a lot to learn...

how bout u?


i really would love to have this adidas miss piggy shoes!!! huhuhu! sigh! i have to save up for it though!! :P hope someone would be generous enough to buy me one.. :P

dba ang cute??? hehe!


huling hirit pa!! i love bob ong! i would really buy his books if i have the chance to! i loved reading the yellow book..the one with the title "bakit baliktad magbasa ng libro ang pinoy?". It is super funny as well as an eye-opener to what our country is suffering from these days. It brought out the patriot in me! hehe!

Friday, August 11, 2006
Dear Mom...

my mom turns 44 today...i feel a mixture of emotions welling inside me. my mom and i have never been close as far as i can remember. She was this person who i feared greatly during my childhood years and i feared her more when as I grew up. When i was in highschool, the fear turned to rebellion. I wanted to rebel against who and what she wills me to be. We fought most of the times, rendering those many sleepless guilt-ridden nights. I've never wanted it that way. BUt i always saw her as this person who i hardly know. She seemed so distant to me. I've always been envious of my friends who are so close to their own mothers. I've wished to have the kind of mother-daughter relationship that Rory and Lorelai have on Gilmore girls(haha! my favorite tv series!). I have always wanted a female ally at home since i am the only girl at home. I wanted to share the juciest secrets to my mom and i wanted her to share her thoughts about the things which move me. I wanted to ask her advices about boys and stuffs..just the usual silly girly sentiments. But i never had the chance to...

I am a Daddy's girl...but I can never imagine sharing my dad stuff about my crushes and all...or else my dad would have a fit(haha!). I had no one to share my thoughts to at home. Well, i shared a few things to my younger brother Pepe, but there are some things that boys will never understand. And with that, i yearned for my mom. BUt we were so distant from each other. Yes, we lived in the same house, but it feels like we're strangers. It hurts me, and I guess it hurts her more. I don't know...i guess i will never understand.

My mom and I just had the chance to be close these past 2 years. Since i started living away from home, we've been constant textmates and chika buddies. I never realized that there was this quirky side in her. I never realized that we had so much in common. I am her daughter after all! hehe!

today, i wrote her a letter...and writing it made me realize how much time we've wasted. And i wish we could make up for it. I hope we here's a copy of what i wrote to mom today on her birthday..

hi mom! happy birthday! whew! you're now 44 years old...
and i do mean OLD! hahaha!

mom, sori for all the bad things that i did before,
sa mga shortcomings nako..
all i just wanted was acceptance from both u
and dad..maybe i still dont understand or
u don't understand me..i have never been
the daughter u wanted me to be..i have never
been the good daughter..i was always pasaway...
and i feel guilty and bad for that..because i
never wanted it to be that's just that
i feel that you and dad are too distant..
like its hard to share things with you because
you might not approve..but i always wanted you
guys to be be a part of my life..
to be the ones i can run to and ask opinions
from...but it is so difficult...
i'm sory for everything mom...

all those that we went through the past 2
years have made me proud of you..
because you endured it all..even though it has been a rough year...

mom..i hope someday, i can open up things
that i want to share to you...things that
you will understand because you are a woman
like me...i just want you there to listen and
to understand..and not to judge right away...

mom, i may never have said it to you...
I love you mom...thanks for being a
good mother to me...thanks for being my mother...
i'm lucky to have you mom...

i thank God that you are my mother...

>>>my mom's reply made me cry and glad that i was able to open up things to her. it made happy the way our relationship is turning...

Happy Birthday MOm...I love you!